Wednesday, January 30, 2013


A: Saffy, hari ni jom pi kenny's mahu?
S : Aku baru je makan kenny's semalam. nak termuntah kekenyangan.
A : Ooo, makan sorang2. Pfftt
S : Aku pergi dengan Sisty la, dia first time try.
A : Alalala. kesian nyee. hahaha. jap aku tanya diorang dulu
S : Nanti muka aku lama2 jadi macam roasted chicken tuu.
A : Takpe, hot chick
S : -_______-

Monday, January 28, 2013

Memory lane #1

Hello Final week!
I don't know why I feel like doing this, but well, I'm writing this.
And I'm gonna start with my Medical life.

It's started 5years ago. Somewhere after my Matriculation result comes out.
Back then I have to choose between two University. Local(which is just a kilometer away from my house), and well, Indonesia. It's weird though, I picked Indonesia. When my friend asked why, here are my answer;
"Alang2 kalau nak pergi jauh, baik pergi jauhhhh terus" yes, it is FAR FAR AWAY. the answer is kindda out of topic, my friend thought I'm crazy! haha. but then I thought, it will give me new experience kan? new culture and all(jawapan poyo. haha), why not give it a try. Without really worried about the course. I am taking medicine kot! Dad asked me to give it another thought, he said, I am more like 'Pharmacy' person. I didn't get why he is so worried (we'll get to that later). I remembered the most famous question everyone eager to know is; "Why do you want to be a doctor?" note to everyone who's planning to take medicine, you have HAVE to have answer for answer that moment? ; "It's because I love to take challenge in life" Frankly, I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. I might hear or read it somewhere, so I use it as my answer. lolz. I'm dead.

First year of medical school. I had so much fun on our first semester, I don't feel like I'm taking medicine. seriously. The fact that Indonesian student didn't have a-level, matriculation and all make it a bit easier for me. well, not too easy I'd get 4flat la kan. haha. first sem basically repeating matriculation. But we have to learn on Indonesian history(of course) and I(we) always use communication issues as an excuse. haha. I remember writting down "Ustazah, maaf, saya dari Malaysia, saya tak paham soalan. maaf, ayat terabur" on my answer paper. serious shit. HAHAHAHA. And that, was what our senior teach us! some of us even drew our national flag on answer sheet. gila. and the best part is; WE SCORED! hahaha(i can't stop laughing remembering this). but then, we don't teach our junior the same. lol. no i'm serius. the chain broke here. kahkahkah :P after all, who said medic was though, right? hahaha. baru first semm. We enjoyed ourself so hard, i remember spend time in shopping mall more than at home!

And then there's anatomy on second semester. Anatomy is one of the hardest subject that I struggle so hard and still, I couldn't make it. maybe I didn't have a good luck on mcq paper too, and it worsen the result. I remember crying to my friend asking am I in the right path. a friend of us did quit in 2nd semester! and I continue trying my best & I settled on passing the paper. Only pass, not excellent. That was the hardest moment of all my medical year.

Second year of medical school. Our very first yudisium is in 3rd semester. That was the scariest yudisium i ever been in. I prepared myself. I even thought, if I didn't pass this, that's it. I'm done being a doctor, maybe that god's sign for me to quit now. choose different path. I was so miserable trying to hold it all together. And then, miracle happen. I passed! I sat down crying when they close the door. I remember that moment. I knew most of my friend didn't think I'll make it. so we all are in shocked. one of my friend did come to me said "dah lulus tu bersyukur" I don't know what he meant by that. But what I know is this is it. There's no turning back. I want a sign, god give me one. No more giving up. I do want to start fresh. dah terlambat sebenarnye dah 3 semester terlepas kot.

Third year of medical school. I can't remember any important moment though. maybe this is where my drama life come to climax, my medical life has nothing to do with it. hahah. we'll get to that story in other post. So basically, as insaf as I am after my very first yudisium, we did skipped class though. ishk. we only went to lecture once a week giving excuse we'd better off studying on our own. ish, sombong Malaysian student nih. but seriously, if we went to the lecture, we end up sleeping or listening to the music on our phone. The only moment we serious is when in lab. sebab wajib hadir. haha. My second yudisium is in 5th sem. It went according to plan. everyone passed. Alhamdulillah.

Forth year of medical school. Things get better. We don't have to take short sem. we dropped short sem & went to Australia! and Singapore later on. It was a good life. I did become fat then too. hahah. Senior claims that the more senior we are, the harder life we gonna face. but maybe at the time, we already learn the rhythm and by my wingman besides, I am as stronger as a person can be. That's when I create this blog and deleted the old one. We passed our Sarjana Kedokteran, Wisuda together and starts our Dokter Muda life in Rumah Sakit Umum Daerah Dokter Soetomo (RSUD Dr. Soetomo).

My Fifth year of medical school, is the best! I really really lived in my fifth year. I gain so many things! Ilmu, friendship, enemy(haha), and the best part of all, gaining life's lesson the hard way! People start pointing me as Dokter, I get to team up with PPDS (registra, the doctor who learn to be specialist), getting trust from the nurse while on call in the ward. Treat the patient, telling them how to live life. haha. It was the best part. gaining people trust the easy way, the patient really do trust you without a doubt. It is a little scary sometimes. and I don't know where I get the confident. but most of the time my answer was " bentar ya bu, ntar saya konsul ke senior saya"  haha. Noobish!

It was a great experience! I remember everytime I changed lab from one to another, I want to specialist in all of them. hahah. when I was little, it was surgery. My friends(high school & primary) surely knew whenever I wrote a biodata, it'll be "pakar bedah". I decided it from standard 2(8years old). i never once change my "citacita" haha. I surely do dream big kan? entering medical school, the one lab I want to avoid apparently is Surgery! But I can't deny the fact that the coolest doctors are majoring in surgery. the 'gatal'est pun ye jugak. maybe I can get a husband from that department, hehe, but majoring in surgery is a big NO for me. hahah. and that's when I decided I want OBGYN. there's operation in obgyn too what. hahah. but when I enter Kulit department, I want to specialist in Kulit so I'll reduce money on beauty clinic. hahah. But my favourite subject is Anestesi! I love PPGD (First aid life support?) hee. and our teaching is the coolest PPDS jugak. So I want to major anest. gagag. But I always hate the fact that, day by day, I lose my sleep to my patient. It's tiring tahu tak. I have to start taking caffein( I am so NOT nescafe person) but I always demand a mocca every after shift morning. That's when my innocent patient comes and say " terima kasih dokter" or even "selamat pagi dokter". the best feeling.

If ever I have chance to do this life again, I'd choose to live only in my fifth year. hahah, jk, I'd probably say I won't. It changes me a lot. in a good way, and bad, of course. I always want this to end, I forgot it'll end everything. At this point of my life, I started to imagine this is what i'm gonna do for the rest of my life! and the worst part is, without my wingman or my sunshine.I remember running to either one when life gets so tough. I don't know how it's gonna be later on. Maybe then, I'll get married and i'm gonna run to my husband la pulak kan. hahah. ok, menggeliat tulis macamni.

It was a long post! maybe if I cut the crapped, it'll be half of it. haha. eventhough no one gonna read every detail of it, future me will. hee. maybe then I'll laugh my arse off reading some noob post from a noob young doctor who just about to starts her real doctor's life. It's this friday. The final yudisium. I wish things goes to plan this time, but dear god, if ever your plan is greater than mine, redhakanlah aku dengan ketentuanMu :)

Till the next post. XOxo

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Ku coba meraih mimpi, kau coba tuk hentikan mimpi.

Sendiri, sendiri ku diam, diam dan merenung
Merenungkan jalan yang kan membawaku pergi
Pergi tuk menjauh, menjauh darimu
Darimu yang mulai berhenti
Berhenti mencoba, mencoba bertahan
Bertahan untuk terus bersamaku

Ku berlari kau terdiam
Ku menangis kau tersenyum
Ku berduka kau bahagia
Ku pergi kau kembali 

Ku coba meraih mimpi
Kau coba ‘tuk hentikan mimpi
Memang kita takkan menyatu

Bayangkan.. bayangkan ku hilang, hilang tak kembali
Kembali untuk mempertanyakan lagi cinta
Cintamu yang mungkin, mungkin tak berarti
Berarti untuk ku rindukan

Ku berlari kau terdiam
Ku menangis kau tersenyum
Ku berduka kau bahagia
Ku pergi kau kembali

Ku coba meraih mimpi
Kau coba ‘tuk hentikan mimpi
Memang kita takkan menyatu

Ini harusnya kita coba saling melupakan 
Lupakan kita pernah bersama

Suara dia sumpah seksi angat. Ha haa.
And this song is my lullaby for what now?a week? Yes,a week. I managed to skip a week! Whew.
Abusing replay button until I fall asleep.
Night ♥

Friday, January 11, 2013

Dua Kosong Satu Tiga

So, this is the first post of 2013! without saying goodbye to 2012. hew. 2012 was such a pain because I can't completed the very first resolution on the list. So 2013 is the time to show off to 2012 that I can do better. ha ha.
And well, while writing this, I'm officially jobless. You guys know what that means? Yes baby, it means i'm done :) Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah, through all those hard time, I always have Faith that your timing is the best. Always. sooner or later, it'll pay off. and trust me, you guys don't know how blissful this relief feels like. Again, Alhamdulillah. It is a great way to start 2013 though ;)

Guess who's here to hug me when I say "Alhamdulillah, I did it!" my wingman's here. I barely cried, but well, it's not yudisium yet, so i might just hold it there. not yet Saffy, not yet.
My wingman's here for their "angkat sumpah dokter". The first batch is on the16th of January. I missed it by 6 days because I can't force yudisium to be earlier than pelantikan because I have nothing to offer. and guess what? I'm done being sad about it :( so my angkat sumpah will be somewhere around April. In sha Allah.

Now what's the plan? what's the plan? I have no plan because I still have to stay until the yudisium date is out. I have to clear out the house before February, so I hope, yudisium would be earlier than that. pfftt. It's pain in the arse because you always will be the minority. you can't do anything about it because you are your daddy's daughter and your daddy is not someone important here. May this be the last pain I have to deal with. Amin.

I have a lot to write, but I am speechless. Feels like it just yesterday I cried my heart out, and today, I survived it. If this is a dream, just don't wake me up. Leulz. It's funny though when I get to talk with my wingman, all I can say is "korang tengokla ape yang korang tinggalkan kat aku" and all they can say while laughing is "Hahaha, we're sorry we leave you aloine". And it's over. My sisters is coming on the very 16th of January too. So I guess I have something to kill the time though while waiting for yudisium. Anyone else want to be my company? you're welcome. but money is on you. because apparently the longer I'm here, the more money I need to satisfied my need. darn. hehs.

Have a bless 2013 everyone!
May Allah ease our way, to be a better person, to get closer to Him :)
In sha Allah.