Friday, November 4, 2016

#kenotmoveon

Semua perihal diciptakan sebagai batas 
Membelah sesuatu dari sesuatu yang lain 
Hari ini membelah membatasi besok dan kemarin 
Besok batas hari ini dan lusa

Jalan-jalan memisahkan deretan toko dan perpustakaan kota,  bilik penjara, dan kantor wali kota, juga rumahku dan seluruh tempat di mana pernah ada kita 
Bandara dan udara memisahkan New York dan Jakarta

Resah di dadamu dan rahasia yang menanti di jantung puisi dipisahkan kata
Begitu pula rindu. Antara pulau dan seorang petualang yang gila 
Seperti penjahat dan kebaikan dihalang ruang dan undang-undang

Seorang ayah membelah anak dari ibunya dan sebaliknya 
Atau senyummu dinding di antara aku dan ketidakwarasan 
Persis segelas kopi tanpa gula pejamkan mimpi dari tidur 
Apa kabar hari ini? 
Lihat tanda tanya itu jurang antara kebodohan dan keinginanku memilikimu sekali lagi


- Ada Apa Dengan Cinta 2, 2016.

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Stay. or not.

It's been quite a long silent. I guess that's what I do best.
Especially when life treating me the hard way and I decided to stop nagging, for a while, I guess.

So, I tried to enjoy life. I tried to learn things. I tried to suck it all up when being shout at. I tried my very best to stay calm and erase the thought of leaving. I try so very hard to still treating patient and give my little advice. I tried to still smile when all I want to do is cry. I tried my very best to stay when all I want to do is LEAVE. I swear I really want to leave :(

And end of the day, I cried. Until I got headache.
I hate to be one of those not function and problematic Officer.
So, I choose to stay.
Even if it means to work harder.
Even if it means to woke up at 5am everyday worrying about what will happen today.
Even if it means to be the stupidest and not-so-funny clown to laugh at.
Even if it means to cry my heart out at the end of the day, every day!

I used to love what I do. or fake it until I find way to survive and move on.
But when things happen, and all my interest is gone, how do you expect me to be at my very best. Sigh.
Everyone's telling me I can do this. I'm new and things will get easier as time passess by.
Was it for me, or for them? so they got extra hand and less work.

I don't know what to think. Trying to change the dead end to dead pool.
Should I stay, or not?

Monday, May 2, 2016

Jaybee

Live update!
Lol. I don't like this feeling :(
Trying so hard to be positive about this,
But awayyy from family yucks! How do people do this?
How do I survived 5.5 years in Surabaya??

Oh Allah, ease my journey. Make this adaptation a lot easier, or make me more stronger. You know best (:


P/s: already planned for KL bound this weekend. Question is, to drive or to fly? Hahah.
Ps/s: I'd upload a photo, but my internet is being hard on me. Hence, adding the melancholic mood. Pfftt.

#prayforsaffy

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Living Saffy's Life

Haha.
I just thought it's time to change the header.
Enjoyed having "young-doctor-in-the-making" for some times though.
Life seems to move fast when you're enjoying every minutes of it.
As fast as when you having a bad day and wishing it moves a lot faster.
But the best(scary) things about life is; It keeps on moving.


Whether you prepared, or not.
So, just buckle up rider! and try to enjoy the ride :)

Sunday, April 17, 2016

Twenty Sixteen

Well, Hello.
Assalammualaikum :)

It took me a year (plus)since my last post. Surprise to see few blogs that I followed still doing the update. I always wish I was one of those. Haha. But I guess, sinking in a place called home request you to ditch (or minimize ) all these technology so that you'll have more quality time with your family. Yes, I am a family person like that. He hee. So, since now I'm enjoying a month offday from the hospital, so let's hear(read) me ranting updates on my life.

#1 Completed Housemanship
Yay for me! I got a legal license to kill! (you better be good to me :P) Well, I took extra months to complete compared to others, but, I did it. Being a houseman is a phase where everyday you had a mental battle of "Why am I choosing this path again?" or "Should I give it up already?"
Relying everything to Allah, is a key to success. Seriously. I used to be so broken heart-ed and so crybaby when my senior tell me this;
"Don't worry Saffy, everyone started from zero. Do this for the sake of Allah. Kalau aku tak ingat Allah, aku pun da lama give up. He is the best of all planner"
and till today, these words lift me up everytime I feel like giving up.
It was so stressful & tiring at one point. But when I realized I was learning from this, It shooh all the stress away. It doesn't matter how long it'll take, if it'll make me a better person(doctor), then I guess I'll be fine. Some people(like me) just got to learn things the hard way. sobs.
All in all, Housemanship taught me a lot of things. I enjoyed being one dependable HO(proudly said I am after 3rd posting, no testimony needed. LOL), but to repeat this phase of life again is a big NO, THANK YOU. huu.

#2 Being Nanny
Because I am a good HO (haha), I get to collect as much as 46 days of leave!
OMG, I think I quite enjoy going here and there during my HOship period, but I still got that much of leaves? yay! So, a month leaves for me after completed my HOship. (Currently entering 3rd week). And since my parents went to US (daddy's working, mummy's being a voluntary PA for daddy). There goes the nanny jobs to me. Yes, my sister gave birth twice during my HOship period. A pair. Almost 2 years old Ayden Yusuf and 3 month old Aysha Reyhana.
I'm only taking care of Aysha. Ayden is sent to taska because apparently we don't have those motoric skill to teach him to meet his level of age. Haha.
And Alhamdulillah Aysha's being an angelic baby. It was as easy as waking up-gave milk-play until she is boring- another milk- and she's asleep. She get crancky only when she pooped. No worries, sister came back for lunch everyday, and Aysha always choose the right time to poop. LOL.

#3 Living Healthy and Fit
I miss doing these! I used to be fit and living healthy until I become so tired and just wanting to eat or sleep. And usually eat win, and lead to sleep. I had a record of sleep straight for 12hours! crazy I know, but it was awesome and it remind me how much I love to sleep before all these busy life started. haha. I started to join marathon in 2014 (the only one, and it was just for 5km). Hahaha. Gave up marathon and join hiking in 2015 (few episodes of broga hiking), and started to fall in love with snorkeling! This year, recently, I started to join marathon back. Proudly completed 10km of night run in 1hour36minutes! hew. I thought I lost it, but actually it was fun. And then, there goes list of marathon i'll join this year #prayforsaffy. Haha. I really can't wait for Penang Bridge Marathon in November! wohoo. Let's just wish I easily get off day so I can planned all this marathon vacation. Hahah. Aside from that, I also started joining Body Combat & Zumba moves. I like Body Combat moves more! for me Zumba is too 'melenggok' and catchy to do rather than body combat which makes me feel like J.Lo training in 'Enough'. LOL. And yes the easiest one to control NOT is, food! I sort of force myself to drink plenty of plain water (8 glass or more) and do the salad diet!I ate other things freely too, but I'll make sure just salad for dinner. Just started today though >__<

#4 Getting Married
JK. I didn't see the rope/ hand that will lead me to Jannah yet. *serious*. So, lets skip these part. #prayforsaffy.

#5 Moving Away
Sadly, I have to move again. Lucky me got extended few times, (I told you everythings happen for a reason), Alhamdulillah, I don't have to move to the other site of the country. All of my friends, I meant literally everyone of them(unless you are son/daughter of someone),  were being sent to Borneo, until it's already exceed the quota for goverment allowance(I think) then, they stop sending MO to borneo. Haha.
- being a houseman in Klang Valley, they forbid us to continue our medical officer(MOship) in the semenanjung. They prefer(force) us to serve the people of borneo with extra allowance.
Oh well, I actually didn't mind being sent away to borneo, since I don't have commitment yet, and all my friends already waiting for me there. LOL. But my dad will make it a big deal if I got transferred to Sabah/Sarawak -__-
And, I got Johor. My third choice. hahah. While writing down my choices, I asked my little sister which 3 states in Malaysia she prefer best, she suggested Terengganu/Kelantan/Johor.  Whaatt. hahah. I wrote down Negeri Sembilan/ Melaka/ Johor. I know it'll be impossible to get Negeri Sembilan or Melaka unless I'm married or pregnant or daughter to someone -__-.
but in the reason of choices column I wrote "I'm going to marry someone who works in Putrajaya" which I secretly thought(hope) it will come true. Haha #redha
So yay, to Johor I'll go. I don't appeal. (one of my friends got Johor and appeal and she got negeri sembilan. whatt. iSad) But Johor is nearer to Singapore and lots of Pulau what, can randomly have getaway or gethusband, no? haks

Anyway, I called up Jabatan Kesihatan Negeri Johor, the lady was so nice giving me choices of Hospital to work. I choose Hospital Sultan Ismail, Jaybee. I only know I can live in JB because it's the similiar town to KL. They tell me to choose Muar/ Segamat which is nearer to KL, but I still want JB. It's 55minutes of plane rides for god sake. Hahah. Plus, I already went and live few days in JB(with my ex-housemate, Aizzi who works in HSI, JB). I quite enjoy the environment and think I can survive there. InshaAllah. #prayforsaffy
Already started googling places to stay, I prefer to buy a condo with one or two rooms there, since I think the monthly pay is the same as renting a condo, but Aizzi ask me to chill and come to live there first before busy deciding an investment. LOL. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. Which department should I go after this? frankly, without a doubt, I'll choose ED. I superlove the adrenaline rush of treating ED patient. but at the same time, I don't want to live a busy life. how? "why am I choosing this path again?"


Oh well, it's a long of a write up! I miss doing this! Huhuu. Maybe after this i'm gonna write more (since I'm gonna move out and live alone :( ) But for the time being, pray for me to easily sort things out. Too many to plan, too many to pack, but here I am, blogging. Hahah. Till then, buh-bye.