Sunday, November 20, 2016

Nagging

I passed half of the year being ENT's Medical Officer. YAY ME!?
Things slowly fit it it's place. I swear it was not easy. Still suffering here and there sometimes, but I guess I already immune to the system. So much drama happened , storm after storm, but I get to view a rainbow in between. ;) Thankfully I'm not the main character, so I survived for now. hahah.

The thought of gave up my work, change working environment, thinking of quitting and filled in transfer back form, but nothing seems to work.
At one point I cried my heart out. Asking Him this is all not fair and questioning what did I do to still have to suffered? I badly cry until my head hurts. Nothing make sense at that moment. How everyone get things easy, but not me. How ungrateful I am as human being.

And then He showed me how, I, as His servant, have everything everyone needs and still asking for more. He showed me one by one. He send me friends to put sense back into me. Eventhough I push them away in the first place. Allahu, I feel ashamed. Why is it so hard to be husnu dzon? He put me through this, so that I learn to grow. So that I learn a lot of things. Not only as Medical Officer, but as a human being. Fa-biayyi alaa'i Rabbi kuma tukadzdzi ban (Maka nikmat Tuhanmu yang manakah yang kamu dustakan?)

So now, here I am, still working in this department, doing everything I could to make the day pass faster, trying so hard to be nice when picking up referral. LOL. I admit I get easily irritated when receiving referral, maybe because I enjoyed doing the referral. (Still secretly wish for ED :'()

During my time (wah. haha) I prepare myself for every detail while making the referral. takut kot dengan MO. But HO nowadays (wah,wah! LOL) doesn't seems to care.

OMG, I am so not a patience referral taker >.<

Till my next rant, buh~bye!

Friday, November 4, 2016

#kenotmoveon

Semua perihal diciptakan sebagai batas 
Membelah sesuatu dari sesuatu yang lain 
Hari ini membelah membatasi besok dan kemarin 
Besok batas hari ini dan lusa

Jalan-jalan memisahkan deretan toko dan perpustakaan kota,  bilik penjara, dan kantor wali kota, juga rumahku dan seluruh tempat di mana pernah ada kita 
Bandara dan udara memisahkan New York dan Jakarta

Resah di dadamu dan rahasia yang menanti di jantung puisi dipisahkan kata
Begitu pula rindu. Antara pulau dan seorang petualang yang gila 
Seperti penjahat dan kebaikan dihalang ruang dan undang-undang

Seorang ayah membelah anak dari ibunya dan sebaliknya 
Atau senyummu dinding di antara aku dan ketidakwarasan 
Persis segelas kopi tanpa gula pejamkan mimpi dari tidur 
Apa kabar hari ini? 
Lihat tanda tanya itu jurang antara kebodohan dan keinginanku memilikimu sekali lagi


- Ada Apa Dengan Cinta 2, 2016.